Now this change was not a wake up the next day and have it figured out kind of change. I am still making the necessary adjustments to become the type of player and father that I want to become. My son is currently 20 weeks old so I have only been doing this for 5 months. And if it sounds like I am doing a good job, I can tell you I am only doing the best that I can. It is not easy and it can be very frustrating. Extremely late nights, waking up frequently throughout the night, feeding, burping, changing soiled diapers, changing the new diaper because he peed on me and the new diaper while the changing was occurring, getting pooped on, puked on, spit on and oh by the way, it’s not even 3am. What time do I have to be at the ballpark? I think you understand what I’m trying to say.
One of my teammates asked me the other day after I was bantering about being puked on twice, within a minute of each other at 5 am while he was just being restless, “is it worth it?” Is it worth showing up to the ball park in your back up shirt because he puked on you? Is it worth the hundreds of diapers you’ve changed at un-godly hours of the night? Absolutely it is worth it. He could be screaming his head off throwing up all over the carpet while your trying to get 2 hours of sleep for the entire night, and just a simple smile, or even a smirk makes the previous anguish worth the while. It is an unbelievably gratifying experience seeing the child you have created just smile and look at you with their beautiful eyes.
I’ve also been asked the question of what type of player do I want to become now that I am a husband and a father. How long are you willing to travel countless hours day after day? How long are you willing to be a valet attendant in the off-season? How long are you willing to live paycheck to paycheck? These are the questions that are the toughest for a die hard baseball player. I want to give my son the greatest possible life that I can but how much of his early life am I willing to miss just for my own personal goals?
There is no definitive answer yet, but I am willing still to do anything to get to the MLB. It sounds horrible to say that I am willing to miss some of my sons life to chase a dream that I may never achieve. But there is one idea that is burnt into my head that gives me the desire to wake up every sleepless morning and go to the ballpark. I want one day for my son to be able talk about going to Yankee Stadium, or Citi Field or whatever stadium to see his dad play ball. I want him to be able to watch me enjoy this game I love so much on television if he has school that week. But most of all, I want him to say that he wants to be just like his daddy.
until the finale…